


Not too late

by LostMe



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: English is not my native language, F/M, I like the idea, hate the execution, maybe too late?, not what I should be writing, please rewrite it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 19:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18581311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostMe/pseuds/LostMe
Summary: What a Celestial thinks about themselves shapes their realities. After the ordeal with Cain, Lucifer no longer believes he deserves to be alive.





	Not too late

**Author's Note:**

> So, not at all what I should be writing and also not what I had in mind when I started. But hey! I was quite obsessed with the idea and needed to do something before glorious season 4 starts.
> 
> So, if you like the prompt and want to do your version of it... I would be ridiculously happy!

Truth be told, it was the resignation in Dan’s voice that did it.

You see, Chloe Decker had lost a fiancé, too many friends, her crush/partner at the span of merely a week. Well, she didn’t lose _lose_ her crush/partner per see, but she did. At least she lost the image of Lucifer as she had. It was all true. He was the Devil. A girl could be excused from being in shock.

And she could admit to herself that she had been in shock. For weeks. Months even. And she did excuse herself from fainting at the crime scene, and later she excused herself from avoiding his frantic calls. She was pretty certain she did the right thing avoiding Mazikeen too. Not only she was a demon, but she had also hurt Trixie. She had betrayed her. Maybe she had been too harsh with Linda but… She needed time. It was okay to need time. Her world as she knew it had just stopped making sense! How did they suppose she was going to deal with it without a little time to herself?

So when Dan took Trixie for a couple of days, she excused herself from being a bad mother saying it was alright to need some time. When the calls from Lucifer stopped coming, she barely noticed. When Amenadiel tried to ask her to talk to him, she dismissed him as an interfering git, trying to once again clean his brother messes. Even Ella tried to ask her what happened, why she was avoiding Lucifer, but Chloe could not answer.

So, it would stand to reason that she was out of her depth (when wasn’t she these days) when Dan called.

“ _Trixie wanted to see him. I know you’re not talking but… She has lost so many people these days I thought it would be ok to let her see him for a few minutes. Chloe, I have no idea why you’re avoiding him but… Chloe, if you don’t come to see him sooner rather than later, you may never have the chance again._ ”

“ _What do you mean?_ ” Chloe asked.

“ _He seems really sick. I don’t know how much time he has got_. _Chloe, he keeps asking for you. Whatever happened between you… Is it worth denying a dying man his last wish?_ ”

In all senses of the word, Chloe was not _ready_. She was not ready to face Lucifer, she was not ready to say goodbye. It wasn’t the time. But the idea that it may never be the time fuelled her. That’s why she drove to Lux in the middle of the worst storm she has ever seen.

That’s why now she was standing in the middle of the penthouse, staring at the small gathering of, dare she say, mourners standing around the doorless bedroom.

Linda was sitting on the bed, holding one of Lucifer’s hands, whispering sweet nothings to him that he apparently had no mind for. Amenadiel was on the other side of the bed, arms crossed and spine straight, staring ahead like he was preparing to defend his brother from an imminent attack. Ella was asleep in an armchair nearby, apparently having slept middle pray if the cross on her hand meant anything. Farther way, Mazikeen was on the couch, one hand holding a bottle of vodka she would seep from occasionally, the other one flicking one blade nervously like she too was preparing to fight sooner rather than later.

Nobody appeared to have noticed her. They all, well, with the clear exception from Ella, were rather focused on the occasional distressed sounds Lucifer would make.

It took Chloe some seconds to realize he was chanting the same mantra over and over, in a raspy and broken voice.

“Tell her I’m sorry. Please tell her I’m sorry.”

“Lucifer… Chloe cares for you. If you just give her some time…” Linda tried.

Lucifer huffed and turned to chant at Amenadiel.

“Tell her I’m sorry. Why won’t any of you tell her I’m sorry?”

“Brother…”

Lucifer started to murmur in a language Chloe had never heard before but something about it was so unbelievably sad that it instantly broke her heart. If the expression on Amenadiel’s face was any indication, understanding it was not any help in the heartbreak department.

That’s when she felt Maze glaring at her.

“Took you long enough Decker.” The demon said. “At least now he can tell you himself so he can finally moan about something else”.

Before Chloe could decide how she felt about that statement, Amenadiel’s and Linda’s attention was on her.

“Chloe… Thank Father.” Amenadiel murmured. She took a second to actually ponder about the probability of her being there was God’s credit at all. That was her life these days.

Linda was silent.

That was until Lucifer got up with what was happened, murmured an incredulous ‘Detective’ and tried to raise the bed to meet her. It didn’t go well. He was so weak all he could do was raise his head before collapsing back into the mattress, struggling to breathe and face contorting in pain.

He was so thin… The skin on his face held no color besides the almost black bags under his red-rimmed eyes. What happened to him?

She must have asked the last part aloud because Mazikeen answered her.

“You’ve broken him. He does not function anymore. Only ‘tell her I’m sorry’ over and over again.”

Hearing that hurt. But everything was hurting so much already that she barely acknowledged it. In the time it took her to realize what was happening, Linda had somehow gotten at the couch and was admonishing Maze, while Amenadiel was gently maneuvering her so she would come near the bed.

“Thank you for coming, Chloe. He just wants to apologize. It’s okay if you can’t forgive him… But please acknowledge his apology. It’s all he wants.”

The request took her by surprise.  When she was near enough that Lucifer could see her he just started to brokenly tell her he was sorry, over and over again. Sometimes he would swear he would change what he was if he could, but the main thing he said was just that: he was sorry.

Yeah, she was surprised. And by surprised she meant… WHAT THE FUCK?

And that summarized it all, really. What the fucking fuck? What the fuck was wrong with him? Laying there so brokenly because she had reacted badly to a deeply unsettling situation? What’s up with all of them, acting like a broken heart was a death cause? What the fuck was wrong with all of them, thinking she just didn’t care? What the bloody fucking fuck was wrong with her, letting him believe it for so long?

Well, she hoped it was not too late. Not now that she had finally came to her senses.

Shaking off the ‘what the fucks’ permeating her mind, she sat on the edge of the mattress and grabbed his flaying hand. It was so unbelievable thin that his hand sat loosely on his finger. That hand she put over her heart. She used her other hand to caress his face until he stopped murmuring and focused on her.

“Lucifer, I do not blame you. I’ve never had.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. “I would be better… if I knew how.”

And of course, his eyes chose that moment to start to leak. Slow tears that spoke of many previously fallen ones.

“Lucifer, I don’t need you to be better. I just need you to be you. The rest will be solved with time.”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

 In any other circumstance, Chloe would be exasperated. But Lucifer didn’t seem like he was fully aware of what was happening and saying it was calming him, so she let him murmur it while she leaned over him. She let him murmur it while she arranged their bodies so he was leaning against her tight, while now and then she would caress his hair or his forehead.

The volume of his voice lowered until it died in a soft exhale.

“Lucifer?” She asked, suddenly worried. He looked so pale, so thin and was so very still that it was… It was…

“He is asleep. It’s a good thing. He hasn’t slept for weeks now.” Amenadiel said.

“What’s going on?” Chloe asked.

“I’m not sure but… I think being apart from you had taken a toll on his mind and his body stopped along. These past weeks, he couldn’t keep anything he drank or ate. He stopped being able to sleep. He seems to be in pain. We didn’t even know anything was wrong until the day he lost the strength to leave his bed.”

“How long ago has it been?”

“Almost four weeks.”

“And since when has he been begging for you to tell me he is sorry?”

“Pretty much since then.”

 Chloe let one single tear to fall.

“What can we do for him?”

Amenadiel smiled. It was a small thing, but it was real.

“Divine beings are sustained by love. He loves you. Being with you should help immensely.”

Chloe nodded and then resumed stroking his hair. She could stay.

Later, much later, she would acknowledge that, even though she could not even form the thought at the time, some part of her found it all good, because she loved him too.


End file.
